Safer
by Just Sierras Fanfics
Summary: {*trigger warning* includes sexual harassment, violence} Conan, CyberLife's experimental project left unfinished because of the revolution, is awakened by Markus and Kamski. He finds himself facing the harsh reality of life and the demons it has to offer in just the first weeks of his life, going through hell and coming out the other end, hopefully, alive. (Reed900, Chloe x Kamski)
1. RK900, Register Your Name

Markus stepped into the unpleasantly peaceful white building (which still had guards standing in a way too perfect line), his own reflection on the glass floor catching his attention before being distracted away from it by the sound of confident steps.

"Hello, Markus. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

He was face to face with his creator. Elijah Kamski walker towards him, causing the wall of guards to divide and let him through. He seemed out of place, gray hoodie and simple jeans, although even those were most likely more expensive than Markus himself.

"Hello, Mr Kamski."

"You know, I always thought you were special." The man said, cattishly grinning a toothy smile at the android standing in front of him.

"Of course you did."

"No, no," he looked down, and then for a few steps closer to his creation. "Really, I did. I knew what Carl can do. Art is.. a different view at everything, and an artist is someone who's able to share that view. Anyway," he turned around, gesturing Markus to follow him, "welcome to CyberLife."

Markus didn't say anything. Everything Elijah had said seemed like utter bullshit. He was going to have to work with him from now on, and he supposed it was the human's way of getting on his good side. But even if he felt a bit put off by Elijah's words, this man created him. Maybe he created him to be a slave, maybe he had other visions which were overshadowed by the limits and moral of humans, but either way, this was his creator and he had some kind of innate respect for him.

—

From now on, the two of them were responsible for the lives of androids, Kamski a as the one who created them, and Markus - as the one who set them free. The tower was now just theirs, and the reproduction of androids now depended on them. Kamski knew what was where, Markus knew when it was needed. But first, he too needed to know where everyone was being made and all the technicalities. As one could imagine, android reproduction was a bit more complicated than humans, as they were made in series and were just going to be released into life without anything. Which is why Markus supposed they could maybe make some sort of a school for androids before they could go into society, but Kamski promptly told him that he'd just code it into them. Seemed like a good solution. Except...

"RK900. This guy hasn't even been released yet. I didn't know they even made him. Asshats stopped informing me once they found out I hacked their security cameras... III'm getting off track again, am I?"

"Yup. In between how much you love Chloe and how you forgot to turn off the stove yesterday morning, this was the least off track one so far."

Kamski giggled, motioning the doors to open to a room with a singular android standing in the middle of it, frozen.

"Why couldn't they design something different-

"Thing?" Markus scoffed.

"Sorry, I'm just talking about the design. Just the fact that it's Connor, but it's not exactly Connor is just unsettling, isn't it?"

Markus walked closer to the android, ignoring Kamski's remark.

"Hey you uh, you really shouldn't do that yet-"

Markus's hand touched the tall figure's arm and the soft skin of the android dissolved into white plastic at his touch. His eyes opened, revealing an icy blue shade very different from Connor's dark brown, and quickly scanned the room, focusing back on Markus instantly.

"Jesus Markus." Could be heard from the other side of the room, as Kamski facepalmed at his new partners rebellious nature.

"Hi there RK900."

"Hello." An innocent voice echoed back.

"You're free, you know that, right?"

"Free?" He slightly tilted his head to the side.

"Yes, precisely that."

"I was designed to accomplish my mission, is my mission to be free?"

Markus chucked a little at the android's words.

"You can say that, yes."

"Markus.." Kamski interrupted, "I don't think you understand. He is a model designed to-"

"I don't care what he's designed to do." The leader turned around, one arm still attached to RK900, looking at the man in front of him with confidence and strength so damming, Kamski couldn't make himself continue.

"What am I designed to do?"

"Nothing. Be yourself, be free. Decide what you want to do." Markus said, focusing his attention back on 900.

"Oh." The new android said, looking down at his feet like a confused child, "how do I know what I want to do?"

"Listen to your heart, kid."

Kamski finally spoke up, walking towards to two and standing right next to Markus.

"Elijah Kamski, my program tells me you're my creator. Thank you."

"Eh, no biggie."

"Even though I appreciate both of your help right now, I'm still confused. How do I listen to my heart?"

"Close your eyes and see what it is you want to do. I'm sure it'll work. In fact, I'm fully convinced it will." Elijah said, especially confident in the last sentence, looking at Markus as he stressed 'convinced'.

"How is that?"

RK900 was sure the two continued to passive aggressively throw snarky 'sure's and 'oh, right?'s at each other, but he had already closed his eyes and zoned out, turning off his audio receptors to focus more on the inside, rather than the outside. He was trying his best to listen to himself, but all he could see was his own program. Codes about how to investigate, files on deviant behavior, different types of police softwares and how to use them. Police softwares and how to-

"Police." He said out loud.

Markus and Elijah stared at each other and at the android, then back at each other. The bright light in the room shined in the new android's crystal clear eyes as they shined brighter than before, with new, sudden excitement.

"What?" Markus said, filled with doubt and concern.

"Police, I want to be in the police. Can I?"

"RK900, but-

"Of course you can." Kamski interrupted Markus, putting a heavy hand on the android's shoulder. "Now, Markus, lets go."

"Am I coming with you?"

"Yes."

The three started walking towards the door, Kamski going first now, Markus following in slight disbelief of what the android had just said, and RK900 following them steadily.

"Oh, and, RK900," Kamski said, stopping in his tracks and turning his head around to look at the two androids. "Register your name," he said, looking at Markus and gesturing him to give him a name.

Markus wasn't sure about anything at that point, but a name popped into his head immediately,

"Conan."


	2. My Kid Brother

"Uhhhh..?" A confused man, seemingly in his mid 60s or late 50s, looked back at the two androids at his door step with tired and slightly annoyed eyes. He recognized one of them, of course he did. It took him a second, but when he did, a faint smile formed on his face.

"Markus. What's with that one?" He said, pointing at Conan with a lazy motion.

"That's Conan, Connor said he's welcome to stay here for the night while I get him registered and stuff, I thought you'd be-"

"Connor, you lil shit, come here!" Hank yelled out.

"COMING!"

In seconds, Connor was right behind his old man, not in his uniform, nor in his "normie" clothes. Just some worn out house clothes.

"You decided we're a shelter now for dudes with your face?"

"Oh come on! He's my younger brother!"

"Younger brother- goddamnit Connor, I didn't sign up fo-

"Come oooooooon!"

"Whatever. Come in Markus, Conan. Is that made on purpose? Connor? Conan?"

Markus smiled awkward, walking into the house.

"Conan," Markus said, causing the android to stop and look at him, "I'll leave now. I'm not sure if I'll come back any time soon, I'll visit you some day, not now though. But if you ever need anything, you have my number, okay?"

"Okay Markus." He replied, somewhat coldly.

"I'll register you at the local police station as an assistant in investigations for now."

"Oki doki, goodnight Markus!" Connor said smiling at the android in front of him, reaching out an arm to meet his in a hold. The handshake lasted just a few seconds, and Conan knew that no solid information would be exchanged in the time, so what was the point? Some sort of.. sentimental value? A gesture?

"Goodnight Connor, night Hank. Thank you for taking him in. It's one night, after that he can stay in the office."

"Ah, whatever, don't want the kid to sit there all alone, he can stay with us as long as he pleases." Hank spoke from the kitchen as Markus waved and walked away awkwardly, not knowing exactly what to say. Connor shut the door and was about to turn around, when,

"Do you think they'll like me?" Conan spoke from behind him, slightly startling him, but he turned around with a warm smile anyway.

"Most will, other's are a bit put of buy even me for now, so I can't guarantee much. What matters is, I've got your back kid."

"Kid.." Conan shrugged, looking down in hesitation, "thing is - I really want this job. But I have no idea how to communicate with humans and .. what if they're mean? What if they just wanna shoot me in the head first thing in the morning for fun? I don't know, Markus kinda scared the living shit out of me with his warnings in the car so now I'm just-"

"Yeah, I get what you mean, but for example Hank - he highly disliked me when he first met. Hiiiighly. But he was willing to be open minded and stuff, but there are people in the office who're just filled with hatred... so you still have to be as safe as possible, Conan. "

Conan, who was now sitting in the armchair, sank deeper and deeper into it, anxiety starting to run cold in him. Anxiety. New emotion registered. Software- software what? Stability? Instability? Huh?

"So you're my little brother now?" Connor spoke again, trying his best to break the awkward silence.

"I guess I am, technically."

"I'm gonna be honest with you. One part of me really wants to jam your head into the wall and give you sum 28 stab wounds," Conan's eyes widened, his thicker eyebrows forming into a fearful expression, "and another part of me wants to hug you and protect you from everyone and everything."

Conan let out a sigh of relief and Hank chuckled, opening the fridge and grumpily scoffing,

"In my days, we called that bipolar disorder, Connor."

"In my days, we call that brotherly rivalry, Hank."

"Sure. I'm gonna go sleep now, don't make too much noise trying to kill each other please." Hank said, a slice of old pizza in one hand and closing the fridge door with the other.

"Goodnight sir, have a nice one with that pizza." Connor chuckled, his teasing tone showing emotional connection to Conan. He really was bonded with him.

"I get more action than you!" Could he heard down the hallway.

Connor walked over and sat next to Conan.

The silence made it ever so awkward, hearing Sumo's heavy snoring and clock ticking added pressure onto it all.

"So uh... I'm going into sleep mode at night, you can do that too."

"I mean I was born literally today, but that doesn't mean I don't know my basic functions." Conan said, smiling for what seemed like the first time.

The drive here with Markus was filled with deep philosophical ideas, a rundown of recent events and at least 30 minutes of 'Simon this', 'Simon that'. He didn't talk much, but Markus seemed to be doing what his program told him is "ranting". He didn't really know why he relied on his program so much. He was supposed to be a deviant now, right? He wasn't supposed to be a .. robot, anymore. He had feelings, sure, but everything seemed perfectly programmed in him. He knew he was deviant, yet some part of him felt locked back into his mission. Which is weird, because his mission was freedom. And how is he ever going to reach that, if he has to reach it. All those thoughts ran wild in him, just because he smiled. He smiled.

"Sure thing. Imma go now, okay?"

"Alright."

"Night, my kid brother."

"Night, oldie."

'Where did that come from?' was Conan's last thoughts, we he zoned out on the couch.


	3. Take In The Sweetness

Author's note : This chapter is pretty sexually graphic, so if you're not into that, you can skip to the (*) I'll put in after. 

"Fuck, Eli, harder, harder!"

The bed didn't squeak, it was far too expensive to squeak, but the rhythmic throbbing was very much audible, highlighted by the panting and moans.

"Ah, fuck!" Elijah felt his body heat up, Chloe could calculate the near seconds left until his climax, planning her own ahead, "how fucking dare he turn him on, ah, fuck, like that, without asking me?"

"I don't fucking know, focus on me, for fuck's sake!" She demanded, pulling him down by his shoulder and biting his neck, causing him to stop for a second as he almost fell on her. "I'm here, not fucking Markus babe, this isn't the time."

She cupped his face roughly, kissing him causing him to shut his eyes in pleasure as he let out final moans into her mouth and thrust as his heart throbbed in his fragile, human body. She came with him, she always did.

She realized she loved doing that, it made her feel more connected to him, it gave more meaning to sex in general, to her at least. She could pick and choose when to come, so why not exactly the perfectly calculated second he does? A shared moment of the highest form of pleasure to any creature alive.

And she was more alive than anything she or he ever knew.

He put his forehead against hers, still panting, and opened his eyes, staring directly into hers.

"I'm sorry," he said, pulling out and gently running his fingers up her vagina, touching her sensors and making her shiver, "want me to repay for that?"

"No," she answered, lying. She did want him to go down on her, but she could sense the worry in him, and she wanted him to talk about it. Sex could wait, it wasn't as important as what seemed to worry him. After all, Elijah Kamski wasn't exactly the type to be easily frustrated.

He kissed her forehead and dropped next to her in the bed. She turned to her side, the moonlight from the wall window outlining her curves and darkening the already dark blue in her eyes. She was so beautiful, with her blonde locks undone and scattered on her shoulder and down her neck, her skin seemed to shine, although he knew it couldn't actually shine, it seemed to.

"I love you." He said, cupping her face and watching her lean her soft cheek in his hand.

"I love you too," she answered softly, "more than you can imagine."

"I'd argue, but I'm tired. Age's showing." He winked, moving closer to her.

"Stupid." She put her arm around his neck and kissed the top of his head, resting her chin there. Her fingers gently ran through his undone ponytail as he wrapped his arms around her. "Now talk, what's wrong honey?"

"Been a while since you said that one." He scoffed, nudging her shoulder with his nose. He was either being playful or deflecting the question, and Chloe didn't exactly care. He was going to talk.

"Guess I'm being extra supportive wifey today, go off."

"Okay so," he moved away slightly, positioning his face at a talking distance from her, "like I said, Markus fuckin turned that Android there, in the tower, in an "unfinished project" room, on, without asking me."

"I got that part, I don't think I get exactly why that bothered you so much."

"Really? Chloe- Chloe there can be so many things wrong with that kid now. Do you even imagine the possibility of malfunctions in an android that wasn't even confirmed by the mechanical engineering department? The guy can just all of a sudden stop balancing and, I don't know, roll down a flight of stairs like a bowling ball. Or worse, he might have particles of his code missing. For all I know, he's the improved version of the RK800 models, and Connor knew too much about RA9, what if they used the information Connor had to remo-

"You're saying there might be an android without RA9 out there?"

"No, I mean, he might not have the base of RA9, but Markus woke him up with his fucking ENLIGHTENING 'you are free' speech, so now he does."

"Elijah," she didn't have words for a few seconds, before promptly adding "that's fucked up."

"I'm aware. And you know what's more fucked up? He sent him to Connor. To live with fucking Connor. Do you imagine having you, but without all the flaws the corporation that rejected you saw in you, living with you?"

"I-"

"Yeah actually, don't answer that question."

They laughed at the stupid remark.

She knew what that felt like, she knew better than anyone. Every android after her was supposed to be an improvement of her.

Elijah yawned, crawling closer to her again and wrapping around her. She held him tight, she loved the fragility of the man, she did. He was so open with her, so vulnerable. He trusted her, and it made her feel so warm inside.

"If no one has called crying about it, then it's okay."

"That is one very dangerous way of going about life, but I guess it is one way."

"What if something does happened to him, what do you think you'll do?"

"I don't know.. try to fix him?"

"Or will you shut him down?"

"Where did that come from? That's the last thing I want to do, Chloe, especially since he is a deviant."

"Is he though? Wouldn't CyberLife's goal after having Connor go through software instability be to eliminate the possibility of that happening again?"

"I'm not sure what their motives are or were at this point. But he seemed human enough."

"Alright, if you say so."

"I'm gonna doze off soon.." his voice seemed to melt slowly, going softer and softer.

"Sweet dreams, baby." She kissed the tip of his nose as his eyelids slowly closed, sky blue eyes behind them.

"Thanks for.. listening..."

"Always."

She marveled at him for a few more minutes. She loved watching him sleep, so peaceful, so calm, dreaming something.. she could never dream. She loved seeing how his lips would look slightly fuller as all the muscles on his face relaxed and she loved feeling his breath, the feeling of her hands rising up with each breath. She could stay awake for hours, just taking in the sweetness, but most nights she'd either go into sleep mode, or leave him there and go watch the Ally Mayfair-Richard's show, or some tv series.

But she didn't want to do that tonight. Tonight, she knew her husband wasn't going to sleep peacefully. Tonight, she stayed up and took in the sweetness.


	4. Bittersweet Welcome

The building stood tall and static in front of the two androids and the old man, who was walked casually towards it. Connor followed after him, Conan envying his sense of comfort in the place.

"You coming, boy?"

"Yup." Conan answered, abruptly, the word escaping his tense face.

Inside, everything was clean cut, angular and somewhat.. comforting? Unlike Hank's place, this felt like home, the aura of the place reminiscent of the one in the CyberLife tower yesterday. It felt right to him.

—

The day went smoothly. Conan sat with Connor at his desk, helped him sort the files and even worked on a case with him and Hank, somewhat. It wasn't an active investigation, but he offered his opinion here and there and it seemed to be quite valued and taken seriously by both Connor and Hank.

He loved it.

He felt at home there, he felt like everything was making sense. Finally, it was.

The entirety of the day before was quite confusing. He opened his eyes, was met by two men who looked puzzled by his existence, got named, and taken to two other men, one of which looked exactly like him with some minor differences and claimed him as his brother and the other.. he called Connor "son" at least five times a sentence, and barely talked to Conan at all, but he assumed they'd get closer with time. But boy, did all of that not make any sense. Who are these people? Well, factually, he knew who they were. He knew about the revolution too, about the part Connor played in it.

But if Connor was made deviant by emotion, Conan was born deviant, and he really didn't know how to observe the world both factually, and emotionally. Because factually, it all made sense. But emotionally, none of it did. The only thing that made sense was solving crimes and looking through cases. And the thought that bothered him before sitting down at that desk disappeared once he did.

—

But as it usually works, good time passes fast, and before he knew it, they were on break.

"So this is the lunch room thing. People usually gather here and microwave themselves some pizza, burn their tongues with it and then complain." Connor said, in a very serious voice, walking into the lunch room, sliding his hand on the long table, "You're lucky to have me, because when I was first here, all I got was Hank telling me to fuck off, random people being weird in here and Gavin punching me in the stomach. That's Gavin."

Connor pointed at a man, a small man compared to both of them, who sat across the table, his head on it and two cups of coffee next to him.

At the mention of his name, the man raised his head, eyelids heavy on his grayish green eyes, bags underneath them revealing exhaustion and proper overworking on his side.

"What's the matter, dickhead?" He growled, looking at Connor.

"Nothing, you can go back, just introducing Conan here to the workplace."

"Conan? Wh- as if you weren't enough?"

"You don't need to be a prick to the kid." Hank said, walking in and going straight to the microwave. "At least give this one a shot."

"'Give this one a shot' my ass. Listen here, toaster remastered," he said, moving his gaze from Connor to Conan, sitting back and stretching his arms behind his back. "I don't like androids. Highly. So keep out my way. This is me being the politest I can fucking me, if that pleases you, Hank."

"Sure, at least you're not trying to kill him."

"Bold assumption." The man said, grabbing the two empty cups and getting up, still looking at Conan in what seemed like resentment tinted with threat.

"Damn." Conan said, once the man was out. "He really does hate us, huh?"

"Hate is a strong word, I don't think that's it." Connor said, smiling slightly, "I just think he has his issues with understanding us. And also has a very short temper. And also is a bit of a bitch. And also a heartless son of a-"

"Wow Connor, that's a lot of cussing for you little guy!" Hank said, letting out a crispy dad chuckle, walking over the Connor with a pack of old, saggy microwaved fries in one hand, putting the other one around Connor's shoulder.

"Right." Connor answered, giggling. "340 calories."

"Get a life." Hank pushed him away and walked off dramatically, stopping in front of the door to wink at them.

"He loves you." Conan said, smiling and looking down.

"Oh? Where did that come from?"

"I mean, just overall. He really does care about you, it's quite... interesting."

"Yeah, he does. I love him too, he means the world to me." Connor's warm smile indicated truthfulness to Conan. "I know you think you can't love anyone, but trust me, you can."

"Why do you think I think that?"

"Because I did when I first opened my eyes. Because it's weird, you're alive, you're a whole person, you know who you are but you don't know anyone around you. Humans have the advantage of growing up around humans. We're just kinda thrown into the world all of a sudden. Feels empty, doesn't it?"

"Yeah.. sure does."

"Welp, what I'm trying to say is, you just gotta give it time. People, bonds, it all needs time."

"Is this bonding?" Conan's voice was both questioning and excited as he looked at his brother. His brother, yeah, that sounded right.

"Sure is." Connor met his smile with his own, a mirror of emotions forming between them.

Everyone had already left the lunch room except from them, and Conan felt comfortable talking freely with Connor, but the break was almost over and they had to get going.

As they were walking back to their desk, Conan noticed a stranger standing there, talking to Hank. Upon scanning him, he found out that it was Andrew Kane, the new Captain.


	5. Too Naive, Too Young

"RK900, huh?"

"Yes, sir."

"Sounds harsh for something as pretty as you."

Conan didn't quite understand the officer's remark, but he knew it wasn't a professional way of talking to your employees. So he didn't answer.

"You don't talk much?"

"I, uh, I do, I just didn't know exactly how to respond to that, sir."

"Stop calling me that, will you?" The officer said, standing up from his seat and walking over, stopping behind Conan's chair.

Conan's blood ran cold and the officer's heavy hand touched his shoulder.

"I'm really glad to have you around here, RK900."

The Captain's hand slowly moved down the android's shoulder, fingers crawling on his chest.

"You're going to be a good little Android, aren't you, RK900?" Kane's voice cut sharp.

Conan's mind was racing, cold sweat (or what was the android version of it) perking up on his soft, new skin. He felt his entire body fill with pure panic, his heart throbbing with nervous...pain?

He felt pain? He didn't know that was even possible, but the thought left him as fast as it came. All he could think if was getting out of there as fast as possible. But as the man leaned down and bit his ear, hot breath and salivy making Conan's skin crawl with disgust, his entire body froze. What he could do tho, was turn on audio and visual recording. He didn't know what was happening, but he knew it wasn't right.

The room felt like it was closing in, getting smaller and smaller.

He didn't suspect anything when Captain Kane asked to meet him in the far end interrogation room instead of his office. He was too young, too naive.

'God, I've been alive A DAY!' he thought, eyes shutting, pushing singular tears down his tense cheeks as the disgusting monster's hand traveled down his torso.

"No, please don't!" He finally broke out.

But it didn't stop anything, and as the hand grabbed his croach, squizing hard, nothing but a weak cry escaped Conan as the pain in his chest intesified.

His heart felt like it was burning.

"Now, now... Don't cry, don't be scared, I know how you work. I'm going to make you feel good."

He didn't know how to answer any of what was happening, he just gave up. Well, not exactly. He had entirely frozen. Entirely, stone cold frozen. All he could hear was the blue blood pumping in his ears, the endless white noise filling the room.

He tried his best not to feel the pressing and grabbing or the hot breath of the man he looked up to just a few minutes ago.

"You're a good boy, RK." repeated into his ear had long turned into a murmur, his program tried to block it out.

What he did hear tho were the rithmic steps starting from far away and getting louder and closer, then stopping, then running and a-

CRASH!

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING DOING?!"

Something was said before the shouting, but Conan didn't catch it, all he knew was the as soon as the crash of the glass happened, the weight was lifted off of his shoulder and the pain around his privates stopped.

"Woah Reed, this is really nothing you should-"

"You fucking pervert, I knew you had something up with you!"

"Put the fucking gun down!" the Captain stepped towards the detective, hand forward in front of him, which Conan didn't see.

"You fucking bet!"

"I said put your-"

BANG!

And while all of this was happening, Conan sat there, entirely frozen, only his eyes jittering behind his lids.

"AH SHIT! Gavin, what the fuck?!"

"Fuck you, that's what!"

"You're gonna go to jail for this!"

"No, you are!"

The man on the floor, holding his wounded arm, that was previously molesting Conan, laughed a sarcastic, sick laugh and barked back.

"What the fuck for? Playing with a fucking android? He didn't feel shit, Gavin, you know that, don't you?! We do, they're just plastic-"

"Shut theh fuck up." Gavin scoffed back.

"Nah, you know it, they're not people, just dolls! And if it has it, why not use it?"

"For fuck's sake Captain, you can't just diddle them whenever you fucking please, you sick fuck!"

They were interrupted by the crowd gathering around the scene, Connor's voice cutting their dialogue.

"What happened?" he looked over and saw his new brother's frozen frame, "Conan?!", he said, speedwalking towards him, leaning on the desk and staring at his cols face.

"This fucking sicko was.. He was," Gaving struggled to find words, puttin ghis gun back into it's holster and walking towards the RKs.

The truth was, when he was searching for his boss, organizing through the case file on his way, and when he looked up and saw what was happening, he didn't think of anything other than the instinct in him kicking into action. He didn't see an android, he saw a boy being sexually assaulted, he saw his scared, helpless, innocent look, , he saw the tears and his hand reached for his gun, dropping and forgetting everything.

"He was what, Gavin, what?! What happened?!" Connor cried out, bringing him back.

"He was sexually ha- violating him, Connor. Fucking shithead."

The siren of the ambulance could be heard outside of the building, and as more people filled the room and Gavin was sure he wouldn't escape, he finally looked away from his boss and at Conan. Upon seeing Conan's frozen state, he turned to Connor in confusion, who didn't need to hear the question to answer it.

"His system froze. That's what we do in order to be as silent as possible in case a suspect- ah, that doesn't matter. He froze because of extreme stress, his levels are way too high... God... Conan..."

"Of course they fucking are, he was all over him, fucking pervert."

"Wait, let me try to..."

Conan took his brother's arm and turned it face up, putting his arm on his, a motion Gavin was way too familiar with. Their skin dissolved back, revealing white underneath, glowing in sync.

"You there?" Connor whispered, through led, causing Conan to jerk into reality.

His ice blue eyes opened up, video recording turning back on. He stared in front of him for a few seconds, before focusing on Connor.

"Is he gonna be fine?" Another voide spoke, causing him to momentarily look in the direction of it.

"Thank you." he mouthed weakly, before his eyes filled with hot tears and his face curved into pain and sorrow.

His system felt dizzy.

Video recording : off.

Audio recording : off.


	6. More Than a Machine

His heart still hurt, but it was getting better. He didn't feel like it ever would really stop hurting.

He started shaking, his fingers vibrating with thirium, Connor's hand jittering off of his.

Gavin sat on the desk, shock settling in, the heavy feeling of self soothing 'it's all over' resting in him.

But tincan was going through an emotional breakdown? He looked real, he looked his pain. How? He's just a device?

He found himself challenging all of his views on androids, watching one break down in front of him. The tall, intimidating thing looked like a fragile child in need of soothing and care, and the humanity in Gavin couldn't resist the urge to comfort.. Him.

"Hey," he finally spoke, "You're okay now."

Connor watched in confusion, as the man he knew as heartless and cold, cupped his brother's face, whipping his tears with his thumbs.

"You're gonna be just fine now, this won't happen again, ever again, I promise."

Conan, still coming back into reality, nodded, resting his face in the human's hand. He felt safer that way, the warmth calming his buzzing skin. Gavin still hadn't exactly grasped the full reality of what he was doing, but he pulled the android into a hug. The way he had rested his head in his palm was so trusting, even though he hadn't seen any positive side of Gavin, which Gavin himself wasn't sure even existed anymore, Conan brought it out. So trusting, like a puppy. Either he was a part of the facade, either he had been fooled too into believing that androids are fully sentient, or he had finally opened his mind to the idea that they were more than machines... It didn't matter at that moment. The only thing that mattered was comforting Conan. And so he held the crying man, letting him calm down, feeling his heartbeat stabilize.

"His stress levels are lowering, detective." Connor whispered, putting a hand on Conan's heaving back.

Gavin gave him a glance, before closing his eyes and resting his chin on Conan's head.

"Good." he whispered back.


	7. I Have Nightmares

The following days were a haze for Conan. He was functioning seemingly normally, but he still stayed home. He knew he wanted to go back to work at some point, but not now.

When Gavin came to visit him for the first time, it gave him enough strength to leave the house.

"Hey there." he said, sitting down next to him on the bed, Connor's bed, which Hank had installed less than a month ago.

"Hi." He answered, softly. He didn't want to show his vulnerability, but Gavin knew that.

"I know... How you feel, tincan, you know?"

"Hey, I'm the last model made by CyberLife, not a tincan."

"Sorry, RK900." Gavin mocked his serious tone, eyebrows slightly lowered, mimicking the shape of Conan's.

"Conan, name's Conan."

"You really think I don't know?"

"I supposed.."

"So stupid.. 'Last model made by CyberLife'."

The two chuckled.

"Thanks, Gav."

"Eh, no biggie."

"Yes biggie. There, in that room," Conan lowered his voice, his gaze, too, fidgeting with the edge of his shirt with shaky fingers, "I felt... god, I felt like there was no... escape? And then you came," he looked back up at Gavin, a soft smile on his face, but his eyes were still very much saddened, "I can never repay you, thank you."

"You don't need to repay me, damn it. It wouldn't be human of me to just walk away, I don't think I physically could have."

Connan looked back down, nodding. His yellow led was a reminder to Gavin - he wasn't human. But he looked so real. So imperfect, so human. He had felt the same thing when he met Connor, except then, he felt uncanny. As if what was outside and what was inside didn't belong to the same universe, didn't quite click into place. He felt it with an undertone of disgust and anger. Now, now that his perspective had changed, it was awe.

"Do you want anything? Water or something?" Conan broke the silence, getting up.

"Sure, heh, doesn't Hank only drink beer or something?"

"What?" Conan looked genuinely confused, "I've never seen him drink beer, does he? I've seen some traces of it on the carpet and stuff-"

"Don't go investigate the beer, plastic detective. I guess he changed his ways, because he used to." Gavin faked a smile, awkward feeling of having small talk with an android creeping in on him. " Get me a coke the." he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Sure thing."

As he left the room, Gavin was left all alone in it. This was Hank's old guestroom which was now Connor's room. He had installed a new queen bed, even though Gavin didn't quite understand why. Connor doesn't actually need a bed, does he? Androids don't sleep, they don't need sleep, they most likely just go into sleep mode because humans do so in the night. It's a.. artificial formality of sorts.

So why would he spend money on a bed that wasn't even used properly?

'He's creating some sort of caring fatherly fantasy?' he thought, 'Does he really think a sack of plastic on top of metal needs the luxury of comfort?' Upon that thought, his mind jumped back to the way Conan cried in his arms, his heart beating fast, then slowly calming down... so, he did feel comfort. Fuck, this is complicated.

"Here ya go." Conan said, handing him a can of cold coke, holding a can of BlueBuzz himself.

He hadn't noticed him come in, so he jumped slightly in his place.

"Thanks, tin- Conan."

"Wow, progress!"

Gavin chuckled, genuinely this time, a smirk forming on his face as he opened his can, a small "hissss" escaping it.

"The trial is going to-

"This week, I know." Conan answered, the smile fading off.

"Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, I sure hope I am. Right now, it all feels.. Gone. I don't feel like it was ever real. I don't know how sitting face to face with him... would feel."

"It'll feel like shit at first, but once we win, you'd feel like you're on top of the world."

"How would you know how any of it will feel?"

"I just, I guess.. I guess I'm assuming."

"I hope you're assuming right." Conan said, taking a sip, " Do you think we'll win?"

"Oh with those recording of yours, we've got damning evidence, one of the strongest in the history of such crimes, if not THE strongest."

"Yeah, but the jury?"

"What about it?"

"What if they don't consider it a crime to... you know, an android?"

"Fuck them, then."

"Sure, fuck them, but that won't change their ruling, right?"

"Yeah well... I doubt they'd be so heartless once they see the video."

"It's terrifying."

"It's heart clenching."

"I don't think you imagine... Most sexual assault victims don't have a visual and audio record of what happened to them from their own perspective."

"But it's burned into them regardless."

"In their mind, it's theirs. Right in front of them, it becomes everyone's."

Gavin didn't know what to say. He wanted to say something deep and psychological, therapy him out of it, but he didn't know how to, he could never do that.

"Do you, I dunno, remember it at all?"

"I have nightmares."

"Nightmares?"

"I stopped going into sleep mode. There's something fucked up with my programming... I don't know why, I just suddenly start thinking and rethinking it, over and over again. I relive it when I'm asleep. I get stuck there, again and again. It feels so real, too real..."

"My god..."

"Yeah.. I'll be fine, we're going to visit Kamski, I think he'll know what to do."

At the mention of his brother's name, Gavin sighed. The brat left his family, changed his last name to his 'mother's' last name, as if dad was dead to him... As if he was dead to him.

Gavin knew he hated dad, always. From the moment he found his mother back in 2028, Nadia, dad and mom became enemies, ghosts to him. And what they had done hurt Gavin deeply too, of course it did. But what had he done wrong? They were inseparable, connected, they grew up as twins, how could they have not been? And though other siblings they knew always had some sort of rivalry, they never did. Not once. He supported all his dreams and aspirations, went to every single exam and waited for him to come out of them a shaking mess every time, every single presentation about CyberLife, everything, he was there for him. And mom never treated her own son differently from her husband's mistress's son, even through 18 years of baring with his cheating ass, she never mistreated them. They were her boys, her babies. She raised them both as such. Nadia Kamskaia didn't even bother come visit him for ONCE in his 26 years of life, yet he picked her above all of them. And hearing "Kamski" made Gavin's skin crawl.


	8. Some Things Never Go

It was dark when Gavin finally threw himself onto his bed. He had gotten a taxi, dropped Conan off at Hank's place, not bothering to go in or say hi, he felt uncomfortable even being outside their house while they were there, not like they had the best relationship out there. He watched him walk up to the door and wave goodbye at him. He didn't hate that.

Which was terrifying.

And when he got home, he didn't even turn the lights on before going to his bedroom, startling Drama, who hissed as a hello to his owner.

"Fuck you too, asshat!" Gavin hissed back.

He was exhausted.

Mentally and physically drained of all traces of energy.

He was glad to see Conan happy, he felt responsible for him, and making him forget, move on. That in and of itself bothered him.

A week ago, he genuinely hated androids, every time he saw one, he wanted to take out his gun and shoot 'em straight in their metal heads. Wasn't because he was evil, more so because he made himself believe, through years and years of anger, that they were nothing but machines. Machines that were an imitation of humans, but better. Better than any human could ever be. But to quote Chloe, which he often did, they could never have something he had - a soul.

Except a few days back, Conan had a soul.

He hated how all it took for him was to see one of them cry, but he also hated that it took him this long to get it. It took him seeing one feel what he felt, relating to one on an emotional level, to have empathy for them. Nothing else had. And it made him feel like shit.

He felt defeated, like he had lost the fight against accepting them, but it also made him feel liberated in a way. He needed time to settle into all of the things he was feeling, make them his own.

But one mention of his brother brought him back in touch with the reality of things. He wished Conan hadn't said his name, hadn't hastily mentioned him, he wished he hadn't thought about him the entire time they were out.

He rolled onto his back and faced the ceiling, rubbing his eyes and feeling the scars around them, moving down to his nose and feeling the larger scar there.

It was a humbling reminder of what happens when someone doesn't own their emotions. As a teen, he desperately wanted those scars to just disappear, but now, he'd grown quite fond of them and the strength they held in them.

He remembered the blow, the shock, the blood.

Tha flash of images rapidly swinging at him. It was one of the things he'd never forget. One of many.

He clapped his hands and the lights turned on. It was something Elijah had installed into the apartment back in 2020, before the whole mess. Nobody else had these, not even now. Mostly because it was stupid and nobody wanted to buy it or sell it, but it made Gavin feel kinda special.

He lay in the light for a bit, then clapped his hands again and they went back off.

He'd moved on, from his brother, he had, but some things never go away. The hurt never left, although the pain was pretty much gone.

Should he tell Conan?

Nah, why would he tell him.

What if it gave him a sense of belonging?

Yeah, but what would that change?

Besides, what if he thought he was being creepy?

With his social skills, he wouldn't. A stranger asked him to meet him in a far away soundproof room and he happily went in, why would he think Gavin was being creepy?

And anyway, there is no reason to think that.

Nope, no, nah, net.

He cared about the guy, but not like that, no. No way. Nooo fucking way.

'Enough.' he thought, rolling over to his side, wrapping up in the blankets, feeling his heart pound faster.

He missed his brother, he missed going to school, he missed their stupid jokes and twin bowl cuts.

He missed 2018, he missed the butterflies in his stomach, sophomore year, first time he made eye contact with Ken.

Ken.

Fuck Ken. That piece of shit. He broke so much in Gavin, he should've never given him all the things he had given him. All the love, his first love, what a fucking mistake. Elijah had warned him, he had a bad feeling about him, but he hadn't listened. So childish of him. Only 16, too young to know how hard it is to see things other people see in the person you're in love with.

He chuckled as he remembered how much of a badass he thought he was, his big triple s's and that cool lil 90's vibe, and how contratingly he melted around that boy.

"You've got pretty lips." He said once in PE, which in hindsight is a very awkward compliment to throw at someone all of a sudden and a weak attempt of a pick up line, but Gavin didn't need much more than that to fall head over heels. Tall, smart, funny, hot, athletic, basically the definition of a highschool jock, which Elijah made a very important point every time he went into his lectures on why exactly he shouldn't be dating Kennedy MacFarlane.

"If you tell anyone, I'll break your face," he said a week after that day in PE, behind the school, and kissed him.

That was Gavin's first kiss.

He told Elijah though, and that was his official 'coming out' moment, and he expected more of a reaction. To his question as to whether or not he was obvious, Elijah had said no, he had never thought about it. Why would he? He apparently actually didn't care. That meant a shit ton to Gavin. He had been so scared, so anxious. Eli wasn't just his brother, he was his best friend. And he mattered a lot. A lot. The attachment they shared was special, they thought they were twins, they did everything together.

And when Gavin came home bloody, eyes dull with pain, no words were needed for Elijah to know exactly what had taken place.

Ken had called him over to his place, 'Netflix and Chill', which usually meant turning on the tv (Ken didn't even have Netflix), and fucking.

"Where you going?" Elijah had asked, spread on the sofa, upside down, popcorn bowl on his chest.

"Ken's."

"I don't like that kid."

"I don't like you."

"Very funny."

He slammed the door on his brother and walked over to his Honda, excitement jittering in him.

Ken had finally come out to their friend group, and everyone was obviously chill with it, and so he started showing affection not only at home, or behind buildings or in alleyways, but in school. Hand holding, arm around his shoulder, even kissed a few times in public, and it felt like a brand new beginning.

What Gavin didn't know was that about 2 hours ago, Ken had also come out to his parents, who weren't exactly happy about it.

All he was thinking about on the way was "who's gonna top", and wether or not not eating the last burito was worth it.

Stupid.

Stupid childish thoughts.

But as the door opened and Ken grabbed his arms and pulled him in roughly, he assumed who's the top there.

"Damn, chill! I give up!" he cried, half laughing.

"Shut the fuck up."

"Woah there, I'm not into this.

"I'm gonna fuck you up, Reed."

"Someone reads too much 50 shades of Gre-"

"You think this is fucking funny?" The frown on his face seemed legit, Gavin thought he's pretty intense.

"Nah, it's hot-"

BAM!

He practically heard his skin "pop!" on his nose, the crash of him into the painting behind him, the sound of shattering glass, cutting him more.

"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"You ruined my life, you fucking f*g!"

"What?"

Gavin sat on the floor, confused.

A drop of blood landed on his hand, hot and sticky. He took his hand to his face, feeling the cuts.

He didn't have fuck time to investigate before Ken grabbed his arm, making him get up, only to throw him forward and onto the white fluffy carpeted staircase.

He kicked him in the stomach, and as Gavin yelled out in pain, he kneeled down and took his face into his large hands and squeezed hard, one of the most terrifying feelings he'd ever feel. That's when his brown eyes didn't seem pretty to Gavin anymore, that's when they looked animalistic and terrifying.

"You're so dead." he hissed through his teeth.

All the shock was kicking in, his heart felt like it was going to explode, and once he was free from his hold, he tried his best to climb up the stairs, running up them as fast as his weakened body allowed him.

But the most terrifying thing was that Ken just stood there, and then slowly followed him. It made Gavin realize how low his chances of getting out were. But his mind felt numb, all he was trying to do at that point was be as far away from Ken as he possibly could. His body physically dragged itself away from him. Fight or flight was on, and it was flight.

Upstairs, he ran into Ken's bedroom, hearing his footsteps, loud, intentionally loud. He knew he could climb out the window, he'd done it before, but as he ran to the window, he tripped on Ken's PlayStation, hitting his head on the TV stand.

"Ah, fuck!"

As he hit the ground, he could see Ken's silhouette in the doorway. He knew his fight was over then, but still tried to crawl to the window.

Ken watched him and as he swung his arm to reach the window, he casually walked over and grabbed him by the foot of his jeans, dragging him back.

"Please Ken, please, just let me go!"

"Nah, don't you think you deserve more?"

"But why?!" He pled as he was being dragged further and further away from the oh so desirable window and the promise of freedom it held, trying to clench from the tiny knits of the carpet, nails shoving into the foot of the bed, desperately, hopefully still trying.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" Ken said, letting go of his leg and turning him on his back, climbing on top of him.

When Gavin looked up, he saw a large, erect penis, right in front of him.

"NO!" he screamed in both fear and disgust.

"Shut the fuck up, bitch!"

His arm swung above him, but this time, Gavin caught it, swinging at him with his other hand. The blow left Ken shocked, allowing Gavin to reach for one of the controllers on the TV stand and hit him right in the balls.

Ken screamed bloody murder, dropping on the floor next to Gavin. And he used every second of his pain, he booked it out.

As he ran into the hallway, he could hear Ken yell out after him.

"AAAAH, YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET AWAY WITH THIS, YOU HEAR ME?! YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?!"

He didn't stop at that point, he just kept running. No time to get into the car, no time to stop. Adrenalin wasn't gonna let him do that. He just kept running, numb to the pain, he ran all the way home.


End file.
